Why do guys (finally) decide to go to therapy? They've got a problem that they don't have the tool to fix.
Here are the top 6 reasons why men go to counseling:
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- Tired of Fighting. Despite the pleas of their wives or girlfriends, most guys put off going to marriage counseling or couples counseling for quite a while. When they finally agree to go, it's most often because they're at the end of their rope and ready to do anything to get the fighting to stop.
- Can't Control Anger. Many men have an anger management problem. But it usually takes an incident of extreme rage, such as throwing their son on to the couch or smashing a salt shaker on the kitchen floor in front of the whole family (both real stories), for men to recognize that they've got to learn how to control their anger.
- Having an Affair. When men have an affair, or their partner has one, things get really confusing. Some men go to counseling because they want to repair their relationship after the affair, some are still having the affair and are trying to decide which relationship they really want, and some men want help in how to minimize the damage of leaving the first relationship.
- Looking at Porn. The majority of guys look at porn, and almost all do it secretively. Some men come to counseling to learn how to get a handle on a habit that's gotten out of control, but what drives most men to therapy for pornography is repairing the relationship with their wife after she finds out.
- Feeling Stuck. It's not unusual for men to feel unhappy with their lives. It can be hard for them to put their finger on what exactly is wrong, but they just don't feel right. Often they'll just say they feel "stuck."
- Abusing Alcohol. Men with an alcohol problem typically come to counseling for another reason -- relationship fights, an affair, feeling stuck. They usually don't see their drinking as a problem, or that they abuse alcohol to make other problems more tolerable. But abuse of alcohol often comes up in counseling men and can be a factor in what gets guys into therapy.
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We all can use the wisdom of an expert at times. It's why we go to an accountant for our tax questions or use a plumber when we get stuck fixing a toilet. Counseling for men is no different.
Check out the article Counseling for Men: What Kind of Men Go To Marriage Counseling? to see the kinds of men who go to therapy.
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Why do guys (finally) decide to go to therapy? They've got a problem that they don't have the tool to fix.
You know it's funny. Back in late 2000 I went into therapy and it was my idea. When I was a kid i was forced into it because my mom was concerned about me after my dad left. This time it was my choice. I had a lot of family stuff to work through. I firmly believe that that work enabled me to ready when I met my wife. Now my wife and I are staring at the abyss of separation. Now there isn't anything I wouldn't give to start seeing my old therapist. My wife and I went to marriage counseling for a bit but my wife is british and loathe to share her innermost feelings. She won't reengage in the process despite the fact that we need it so badly. I'd gladly go back with her if that's what she wants.
Nice information.