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What's alcohol addiction look like? Sometimes it is obvious, but most of the time it’s well hidden. Signs of alcohol addiction can vary, but the affect it has on a relationship, families, and the life of the addict are unmistakable.
Here's a glimpse into part of a counseling session I had this week with a couple struggling with alcohol addiction in their relationship.
I think you're an alcoholic."
Sue told Tom. He just stared at the wall as she talked.
I don't want to be married to an alcoholic or have my son raised by one."
After Tom's DUI arrest and night in jail last month he stopped drinking, for 4 days. Then, after he and Sue came to Guy Stuff for alcohol treatment, with our help and support he stopped drinking for 3 weeks. But over the holidays, and being around his family, he started drinking again. Tom told me he only had a couple of drinks each day at his parent's house, but Sue said the sizes of his drinks are like 3 drinks to a normal person.
We talked about alcohol addiction and why it's so hard for Tom to consider that he has one. He said that being an alcoholic to him means that he can't drink. "I just like to have a drink," he said.
Drinking alcohol has become a social norm. Offering a beer or glass of wine to a guest has become more common than offering water or coffee. Unfortunately, many people often feel pressured to drink in order to fit in or not to offend. And for those that struggle with alcoholism the strength to resist the urge to drink, especially when everyone around you appears to be, can be too much. For Tom being around his family and their drinking during the holidays was enough to undo the work he had done in the previous 3 weeks.
Although signs of alcoholism can vary, there are some commonalities. Below are 3 of the most common signs of alcohol addiction:
Alcohol addiction is a common problem among men, and women as well. Drinking has become the very opposite of being taboo – it's almost expected in many situations. A popular TV show I watched the other day actually depicted an employee turning down a beer from his boss, to which the boss replied, "take it – consider it job security."
The problem is that the line between a little and too much is difficult to see. And once it’s crossed things can quickly spiral downward. Many people don’t even think to look for the line, or perhaps they’re incapable of seeing one. These people, like Tom, end up addicted and at risk of destroying their lives.
Drinking is often hard to see as a real problem until something happens like a DUI arrest. If you think you or someone you love may be showing the signs alcohol addiction, look into alcohol treatment like Tom and Sue did before you've got a problem you can't ignore any more, or before the damage can no longer be undone.
Editor's Note: This post was originally published January 29, 2011 and has been updated with new information for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
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I think that alcohol addiction is a very serious problem. And this problem should be cure in time 😉
Donna - Of course it's a serious problem, but I personally don't see it being fixed in the short term anyway.
Thank you for this informative post. Alcohol addiction is one of the major problems of several individuals who are not even aware that they are going through it. This post will surely give readers enlightenment. Thank you again.
To make matters even more difficult is when all the drinking buddies friends and even their wives, binge drink together and actually plan events where drinking is the main theme even though the sports theme is the justification. The alchoholic;s whole life is operating around planning for drinking binge fests. This is in my case acknowleding the truth about my husbands problem. Very insidious deceptive behaviour but in group form so that I am in his crowd, "the no-fun gal". I just don't wanna have fun like they do. Realization set in... Doh! Thanks for letting me vent, it helps.
I have been married 23 years. For the past 10 years my husband has been drinking more and more beer. We have 3 daughters. 26,21 and 11. My father was an alcoholic. Things have progressively gotten worse. The girls are aware of his addiction, he is aware and does not want to get help. We seperated 2 years ago for 4 months because of this, my 11 year old took it very hard and had anxiety. I have lost the passion for him, I am tired. When we talk it has to be text or right after work, he has lost his motivation do things, he gets angry quick and at silly things, he sleeps every weekend all day. He literally is a ghost husband. I took him back accepting his drinking , thinking it was going to get better it has not, its gotten worse. I do not know how to approach him, he is working and I attend school. He does not spend time with our 11 year old, in fact when she was 9 she told my brother in law , she wished he was her daddy, he interacts with my nephews. I feel lonely, I can see why women have affairs, of course I do not agree. I have been looking at match .com, I understand it is not good, I have felt alone for many years, i just needed to accept a few things my self. I am tired of living this way. My daughters are seeing thru me that it is ok to live with an alcoholic and I do not want that. Every time I hear our song or music, i just sing the song, i use to cry before.