Women ask Why Does My Boyfriend Watch Porn Then Want Sex With Me? See what a relationship counselor for men says about men Watching Porn And Wanting Sex,
Porn addiction is something that many men (and some women) deal with. It can be one of the most difficult addictions to stop because many don’t even recognize it as a problem. After all, all normal men watch porn, right? Wrong.
The truth is that regular viewing that becomes a porn addiction causes many, many problems in relationships and the personal lives of viewers. And, unfortunately, society normalizes so many things that skirt the edge of being pornography, or act as an introduction to porn that becoming addicted is an easy thing to have happen.
So, want to know how to stop porn addiction? Well, step one is to steer clear of the many overly sexualized images and commercials that have become so common. In fact, those at risk of watching porn should probably not watch the Super Bowl. Sadly, for many, the first place to begin in how to stop porn addiction is with the biggest sporting event of the year.
The number of overly sexual commercials that ran during the 2012 Super Bowl shocked me. And I must qualify myself as not being a prude, and very accustomed to being exposed to sexually suggestive images when watching sporting events on TV. The most recent Super Bowl, however, took it to a whole other level and just made it more difficult for men who wonder how to stop a porn addiction.
As a professional counselor who helps men learn how to stop porn addiction, I make this prediction -- more men are struggling to stop porn addiction because they watched the Super Bowl or other sexually suggestive commercials.
Here are some of the highlights of what men watching were exposed to:
The GoDaddy.com commercial ends with the announcer telling viewers to "see a lot more now at GoDaddy.com.” Another GoDaddy.com Super Bowl commercial featured Danica again sexually dressed and telling two young men that at GoDaddy.com you can "make your business and personal internet dreams come true." Both gave direct instruction to go online and look at sexual images – the last thing a guy needs to hear if he’s wrestling with how to stop a porn addiction.
Every man who saw these ads had his brain receive visual stimuli that was pleasing. When the brain gets this, it wants more. Unfortunately, most guys weren’t even aware this was happening and how they were being prepped to struggle with porn addiction in the coming days (Learn more about Why Men Watch Porn).
Seeing these commercials was a recipe for failure if you were looking to stop porn addiction:
Sexual Images + Brain Reward + Verbal Instruction how to get more = Porn Addiction
And it’s not just the Super Bowl. The adage that “sex sells” has been a core part of advertising for decades. From Carl’s Jr. having Paris Hilton riding a mechanical bull in a bikini while eating a burger and dripping it all over herself (I’ve ridden a mechanical bull – there’s no way you can eat at the same time) to the very suggestive plumbing commercial for Mr. Plumber foaming pipe snake. Sexual images are everywhere and used to sell nearly everything. Whether it works for selling the products I can’t say, but I can tell you it makes men in particular want to see more sex. And more. And more. I mean, what would she look like on that bull without the bikini? That’s what men are thinking about – not whether the burger is any good.
So what's a guy to do? Here's the first 2 steps in how to stop porn addiction from starting:
These first 2 steps may seem really basic and easy, but when you begin to realize how many sexual images you're seeing you'll discover that they're not. Below are some other articles on how to stop porn addiction that will help you learn more -- take a look.
Editor's Note: This post was originally published August 8, 2012. It has been updated for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Women ask Why Does My Boyfriend Watch Porn Then Want Sex With Me? See what a relationship counselor for men says about men Watching Porn And Wanting Sex,
Wondering if Porn Is Cheating? Find out what psychology experts say about whether Porn Is Cheating.
Breaking a porn addiction isn’t easy. Learn how to handle relapses here.
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You numbnuts making these idiotic comments, the superbowl was an obvious pun. Porn side effect #25678 Men become egotistical imbeciles, brain so fryed in arrested development that they make stupid comments like these^and actually think they sound smart.
So, can we ask women to stop dressing like sluts asking for it? That's my biggest return to porn all the time, but in this day and age that is not supposed to a problem. Anything goes, as long as you are a woman.
Help me porno
Help me. I am see my sister and shake. My father got another woman. My mother like the cleaner. I am addiction to porn.
My long term boyfriend had a huge problem with porn. And he just couldn't give it up. We finally got to a place where he says he wasn't watching it anymore, (of course one can never know for sure). I also caught him sexting a friend who he claimed for months before hand I had nothing to worry about as she was just a friend. Of course my intuition was correct and she and him were sexting behind my back.
He also was facebooking and sexting another girl he only met once and I read on one of his messages to her they had planned to meet to have sex next time she was in town. I don't know if they did Coz of course he says they didn't.
So my question is.... All of his infidelities were based on porn and imagery from other women. Firstly let me make mention that we had a very healthy and wild sex life, being bery adventurous and with a high sex drive myself there was no problems there. But he lost his job and used the excuse of boredom for his infidelities. Even though I found that when he was working he was sexting and watching porn anyway. In his clients bathrooms etc.
Back to my question...
Since his infidelities were all based on masturbating over other girls, and fantasies etc. I now have a HUGE issue with my partner or future partner masturbating. It takes me into a state of anxiety and trauma just to think that my partner is doing that and is probably thinking of oh her women. I personally find masturbating a form of infidelity as well now.
Is this a normal reaction?
Since I don't know if he is masturbating to other girls in his mind , to porn or sexting other girls... Just to get off.
How on earth can a girl ever ever feel secure with a man who has a history of porn and sexting, so masturbating, how can a girl ever trust a man again to ever be just private without thinking he is masturbating over someone else, or has just gotten really good at covering his tracks on Whatsapp and Facebook and Internet etc.
After the hugely traumatic experience of being betrayed so many times with porn and sexting, I honestly just want a man that doesn't even masturbate when he is in a committed relationship with me.
But are there such men out there?
Can a man with a history of porn use and infidelities using his mind to please his body with images of other women ever be someone that can be trusted?
Or am I doomed to either have to turn the other cheek, or stay single forever?
This is such a scary reality these porn addicts have forced us into. 🙁
Olivia, Porn addiction is very tricky and many men don't even realize they can be addicted, and like any addiction, they have to want to get help for it. Masturbation has nothing to do with being trustworthy, nor does it mean that one is a porn addict. It may be good for you to seek out a local therapist for support. -Kurt
No he really does have a porn problem. We have just broken up again as he was watching again behind my back the past two months that we got back together. He fought to get me back made promises and just actually got better at hiding it. I work in tech though and have spot on intuition, plus years of his actions training me how to be a really good detective and he was bust again. This time I'm going no contact.
And really he had stopped, but then he started wanking again... First to nothing then very shortly to photos and videos he had saved of me, and me and him. Which I was never comfortable with. And he said to me what's the harm in him getting off to his girlfriend, I said I'm worried it will lead him back to his addiction. Which it did almost immediately. Well in fact he was watching me and porn sites all along. And actually most times when he said he was just watching me I see by his internet history he was actually on porn sites.
So ... I 100% believe that a man who has a history of porn use, should not even wank... It literally proved to be the gateway back to his addiction. I have no doubt he went back to sexting other girls as well. All that these guys improve at in these situations is at their lying abilities. But the truth really does always come out. Women have a really strong intuition and we always know when something is not right and we know exactly what that something is 9/10 times. All that's left is for us to find it.
Even in the bible ik Matthew 5:28 it says, "I tell you that anyone who looks at a women lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
When a man is an addict he is always an addict, even if he is not a practicing addict, this is true of any addiction be it alcohol or drugs or porn. A drug addict cannot even take most prescription meds if they are a recovering addict. An alcoholic cannot use medication such as cough syrups or liquid sedatives that have alcohol in like many of the natural stuff you can buy at the health stores. So I am telling you a porn addict should not even masturbate with his fantasies in his mind. They will lead him back to porn. His mind will start with his partner then it will very quickly slip into those images of the porn he used to watch and then he will need more imagery and then you have lost him all over again. His addiction will make him lie and hide and live with shame but he still won't stop or listen to the logic.
A man who porns is a man who cannot find sexual joy from intimacy with his partner. He has something missing in himself and she cannot fill that void as its not for her to fill. If a man is not complete with himself then no matter how sexy or beautiful or loving and attentive and adventurous his woman is, he will still look for something to fill his void, porn drugs or alcohol or gambling. But a real man that has matured to a level where he has respect for himself and the people who are in his life ... He will rather work on himself and find the cause of the void and find his self love and enjoy the love he gets as the gifts that they are. And his void will be filled by being grateful for his blessings. Once a man can feed his heart instead of his ego, he will get control of his mind. If his selfish ego is controlling his mind ... There is no hope at that point. And the only thing to do is to stop allowing him to disrespect you and to walk away and lock all doors back in.
I'm telling you now, if a man has a sexual or porn addiction, and is trying to recover, masturbating will only keep bringing it back.
It's a frikkin winky for crying out loud... Keep it in your pants ... The power that this little (and yes for many men it is little) thing has over men is embarrassing to the masculine energy that is supposed to be leading the world. Men are so weak to their Winkies! It's ridiculous. Put it away and do something constructive and productive with your life. Go read a book, build a business, take your wife out, take the kids up a mountain and bond with those that are important to you. Stop detaching from your gifts in this world. Stop escaping life. If your escaping your life ... Then their is only something in you that you have to fix . Don't hurt other people.
This life is not given to us to use as a platform to hurt the woman who loves you. And your kids. And yourself.
Stop wasting your life for 3 minutes of pleasure and then a lifetime of hell afterwards.
And women, any man who is weak to his winky.. Is not man enough to look after you in this world. Let them see the back of you as you walk out the door and leave them to their "mancaves" they can hurt themselves. No need to hurt you also.
Hello Sir,I am 26 years old and I used to masturburate 3-5 times in week.i don't have habit of watching porn.But before 5 months I watched porn heavily for 4 days and as a result I suffered with erectile dysfunction.i left watching porn for 3 months after that and I was getting normal and then again 2 weeks back I watched porn for 1 hour then the situation went back which is now I am again facing erectile dysfunction.Can you please tell me that how long will it take to become Normal as before,because before I had very good sex drive and very frequent erections.but now I have only morning erections.Please suggest me what should I do to become completely normal.Thank you in advance
Shaik, The amount of time varies by person, what their history of porn use has been, and how much they masturbate. Since you returned to normal before I'm sure you will again if you avoid porn as well as excessive masturbation. -Dr. Kurt
Don't EVER turn the other cheek and allow a guy to betray you and make you feel less than. By not standing up for something you feel so strongly about, you are settling for less, allowing someone else to overstep your boundaries within the relationship.
DONT DO IT!
Stand for SOMETHING or fall for ANYTHING!
IF your man chooses porn over you, if he won't stop then he has made his choice and he can have his hand as his lover instead of using you as his sex toy. It's B/S for ANY woman to put up with this!
If the roles were reversed these boys would be having a fit! Guaranteed.
Don't EVER turn the other cheek and allow a guy to betray you and make you feel less than. By not standing up for something you feel so strongly about, you are settling for less, allowing someone else to overstep your boundaries within the relationship.
DONT DO IT!
Stand for SOMETHING or fall for ANYTHING!
IF your man chooses porn over you, if he won't stop then he has made his choice and he can have his hand as his lover instead of using you as his sex toy. It's B/S for ANY woman to put up with this!
If the roles were reversed these boys would be having a fit! Guaranteed.
So true "UseSelfControl"!
These men act as though they are entitled to special circumstances simply because they're men...as though they can't help it. Of course they can, they just don't WANT to. And if that is the case, be man enough to say so and give your S.O. the CHOICE to tolerate it or not - to stay or go.
It's not playing fair when a guy hides it and lies. Lack of self control, selfishness, caring only about his wants regardless of how badly it hurts the woman he claims to love.
Oi don't think SHE'S the one who needs to seek therapy. That is a ridiculous piece of advice. The problem is not her.