There’s no question that discussing cheating is an emotionally charged conversation, here's what to expect.
None of us wants to think about our partner cheating. Certainly not before it happens. But taking the time to learn how to stop cheating is one of the best ways to prevent cheating from ever happening in our relationship.
Like everything else, prevention is so much easier than reacting after cheating's happened and trying to recover. Affairs are one of the most difficult events for couples to recover from. It's not impossible, and I've helped many do it, but it's a really tough road and it's so much better to never let cheating occur in the first place.
How we stop cheating is by never giving it a chance to start. The couple I'm counseling in the marriage I describe below planted the seeds for her to cheat years before the cheating ever started. When these partners stopped making the effort to love each other, and they both did this, the opportunity for cheating began.
This is a post I wrote on social media about how cheating starts, but it also shows how to stop cheating too.
This couple didn't know it, but they stopped doing the most important factor in how to stop cheating -- loving each other. This is never a one-time event (like forgetting your anniversary) and most often not even a conscious decision. Rather, slowly over time partners make less and less of an effort to love each other.
We can stop cheating before it even has a chance to start just by focusing on loving our partner. Not once in a while, not just on holidays and special occasions, nor only when they deserve it, but daily. When we're feeding our relationship with love, cheating never has a chance to start.
This may seem like a "no duh" answer to how to stop cheating. Yet the most common reason people have affairs is because they're not getting their needs met by their partner. There can be a lot more to why people cheat than just this, but after you shift through it all it still comes back to the basic ingredient that all relationships need -- partners loving each other.
Please share your thoughts on how to stop cheating by leaving a comment on this post below. I'd like to hear what you think, and if you have more ideas about how we can stop cheating, please share them.
I post relationship and self-improvement tips like the one above weekly on Facebook and Twitter. Check them out.
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I think both men and women need to be mature and pay attention and listen be open to each other needs and do it but if they have fallen out love be Honest do not try pretend or ignore it it the problem will not go away.
I cheated for five years and then divorced my wife for a much younger white woman and I am happy.
I think real life happens. There are jobs, children, and so many reponsibilities. I adored my husband and tried to be a wonderful partner. I would have loved to had some couple time but money was tight and time was limited. I accepted that life is hectic, especially when you are raising a family. He had an affair with a woman at his office and left. He reasoning - he was "bored". Strange concept for me, I never had time to be bored. I don't think people always stop loving their partner before an affair. I really think it's a combination of two things: 1. Temptation arises ( happens to everybody at some point ) 2. people with weak character give in- and then once they have had something new and exciting their feelings change for their spouse. So in short, affairs ruin the marital relationship, not the marriage was ruined so a person has an affair- Now once the person gets caught they always say the same things: I wasn't happy anymore, I was bored, my feelings changed etc.... Yes, that is what having an affair causes- Selfish people hurt their families everyday for the 6-8 second muscle spasm with someone new. Sad but true.
While your claim that cheating is due to at least one partner ceasing to love the other, your claim that people cheat because they aren't getting what they need at home is a bit simplistic. No doubt your theory is true, and helpful, for some couples. However, my brother once dated a girl who repeatedly cheated on him. It hurt him every time, but he kept dating her, because she was also easy and, frankly, too cute to be dating him. I was astonished, the first time (and 2nd time, and 3rd time, etc.) to discover they had had sex, only 2 hours after he met her. She was so cute, and he had nothing to offer. Well, except expensive gifts. She slept with the suitors who offered her the most expensive gifts, and my brother was hurt because he sometimes lost that competition. Long story short, she never loved him in the first place. Guys can be like this too, when their wives grow old and lose their youthful looks, when a well-timed divorce leaves kids on their own to pay for college, etc. If either partner is selfish, they won't value the relationship as much as decent people do, nor will they fear a breakup as much as decent people do. So they will probably cheat, and trying to give such people what they think they "need" at home would be giving far too much for a relationship you're actually better off without.
I've read Kurt's comments about cheating, and the previous participants posts and believe that all have touched upon similar points. Relationships require that the participants actively provide enough effort on both sides in order to remain engaged, and to keep both parties interested. Love is not only a noun it is a verb! This means that it is something that requires action on both parts! Not just something that someone did wrong, or if he only did this, then all would be well. We, meaning all of us always have things we can improve upon. However, if both sides in the relationship are not invested in the potential happiness of the other party, or at least of the relationship, then what are you invested in? Just my thoughts...
I feel like you can't stop people from cheating. I personally know people who have gave thier all, & still got cheated on. You can't control somebody from doing something that they want to do. Its called ”GREED” , they simply want thier cake & to eat it too!! All you can do is know your worth, & know that simply no matter what , if your spouse tells you that your the reason to his/her cheating that IT'S not you! If you were that much of a problem they would walk away! Don't get me wrong though some people admit its them & can actually feel bad afterwards, all I know is I do not think it can be prevented!!