There’s no question that discussing cheating is an emotionally charged conversation, here's what to expect.
None of us wants to think about our partner cheating. Certainly not before it happens. But taking the time to learn how to stop cheating is one of the best ways to prevent cheating from ever happening in our relationship.
Like everything else, prevention is so much easier than reacting after cheating's happened and trying to recover. Affairs are one of the most difficult events for couples to recover from. It's not impossible, and I've helped many do it, but it's a really tough road and it's so much better to never let cheating occur in the first place.
How we stop cheating is by never giving it a chance to start. The couple I'm counseling in the marriage I describe below planted the seeds for her to cheat years before the cheating ever started. When these partners stopped making the effort to love each other, and they both did this, the opportunity for cheating began.
This is a post I wrote on social media about how cheating starts, but it also shows how to stop cheating too.
This couple didn't know it, but they stopped doing the most important factor in how to stop cheating -- loving each other. This is never a one-time event (like forgetting your anniversary) and most often not even a conscious decision. Rather, slowly over time partners make less and less of an effort to love each other.
We can stop cheating before it even has a chance to start just by focusing on loving our partner. Not once in a while, not just on holidays and special occasions, nor only when they deserve it, but daily. When we're feeding our relationship with love, cheating never has a chance to start.
This may seem like a "no duh" answer to how to stop cheating. Yet the most common reason people have affairs is because they're not getting their needs met by their partner. There can be a lot more to why people cheat than just this, but after you shift through it all it still comes back to the basic ingredient that all relationships need -- partners loving each other.
Please share your thoughts on how to stop cheating by leaving a comment on this post below. I'd like to hear what you think, and if you have more ideas about how we can stop cheating, please share them.
I post relationship and self-improvement tips like the one above weekly on Facebook and Twitter. Check them out.
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My wife was caught texting and talking to other men. She had breakfast and dinner with a man and broke it off at that point. She had apologized and told me her depression over her brother and father's deaths and that growing up a sexually abused may have contributed to her cheating although no physical sex was involved with the online men.I am trying to forgive and trust her she says she wants to be my wife. I could use your assistance
Steve, That's great you're trying to forgive and work things out. It's possible to recover from infidelity, and I have seen many couples do it. It takes hard work from both partners, and almost always with the help of a professional counselor because it's so very difficult to navigate. -Kurt
Why continue cheating. If you no longer loved your wife, why couldnt you be a decent human being and let her go rather than carrying on with someone else for 5 years?