3 Min Read

Contents

• Ever Hear Of Death Grip Syndrome? (Your Partner Could Have It)
• Why Death Grip Syndrome Is Bad
• Takeaways About Death Grip Syndrome
• FAQs

So, you masturbate. Doesn’t everybody?

Sure, at one time or another.

But can masturbation ever become a problem?

Yes, it can.

Death grip syndrome is an example of when it does.

Here’s an example from a couple I’m counseling.

Erin has been with Mac for 8 years. She had a couple of short relationships with other guys before him, but Mac is her first and only serious relationship. So, she doesn’t have a lot of experience with guys sexually and thus doesn’t really know what’s normal or common, and what’s not.

Mac masturbates a lot. He wants to have sex with her a lot.

He expects to have sex with her twice a night (sometimes more), every night. In addition, he masturbates a couple of times after they have intercourse.

This seems odd to her, but not having much experience with other guys she doesn’t really know.

Is Mac’s behavior normal or common?

No - it’s a problem.

In what ways?

• Mac is addicted porn
• He’s obsessed with watching overly sexual anime videos and video games
• He follows Instagram models

And, Mac has death grip syndrome.

Ever Heard Of Death Grip Syndrome? (Your Partner Could Have It)

Death grip syndrome is a slang term for aggressive masturbation. But excessive masturbation isn’t just measured in frequency.

Does Mac masturbate more than normal?

For sure.

But he also does it like he’s squeezing the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube and his life depends on it. And the speed he strokes is like a jackhammer.

Get the idea?

But why does Mac do this?

Because he’s in a negative loop.

He does it to get the pleasure that comes with masturbation and orgasm. But because he does it so frequently the pleasure and high has lessened. So, he does it more trying to get the same high back. And he does it faster, and with a tighter grip. But that only helps temporarily. So, he does it all even more frequently and more aggressively.

The irony is that the more aggressively he masturbates, the more aggressively he needs to masturbate.

He’s in a negative loop that just leads to doing all of it more, and more, and more.

Too much of anything, even a good thing, isn’t good for us.

Here’s another example –

Since we met my boyfriend was never able to have a full erection. I know he's turned on, supposedly he feels attracted to me, but we were never able to get past that problem. Initially we thought impotence but if we'd spend more time playing he'd be able to perform. But never for long or properly fully erected. Talking about it he said he masturbates pretty much every night to porn as a sleeping aid. We're almost 3 years down the relationship, now living together and the problem is still there. He's embarrassed to look for help. I no longer feel understanding, just insulted and I don't know what to do.” -Reece

It's very possible Recce’s boyfriend has death grip syndrome too. At the very least, he masturbates too much. So, the question is, what other problems has that caused besides no sex with his girlfriend.

Why Death Grip Syndrome Is Bad

Is sex that important?

It is for most people, especially most men.

If you want to have good sex, then, yes, the effects of death grip syndrome are that bad.

What are the side effects?

• Desensitization
• Numbness
• Arousal issues
• Erectile dysfunction
• Orgasm problems
• Porn addiction (and the problems that accompany it)
• Dissatisfaction with real-person sex

The thing about masturbation and death grip syndrome is that it’s easy to tell yourself that it doesn’t hurt anybody. But a number of the problems above do hurt your partner and relationship.

This may be surprising to hear, but I’ve seen people end relationships or get divorced over these problems.

Takeaways About Death Grip Syndrome

Because masturbation doesn’t usually get talked about, most people don’t realize the problems that death grip syndrome brings – or even know that there is such a thing.

If you masturbate more than a couple of times a week, you should know the symptoms to watch out for (see the bullets above). If you think your partner masturbates a lot, you should know them too.

For many people the subject of masturbation is embarrassing and shameful, so it’s easy to struggle with death grip syndrome and its negative effects in silence. Please don’t.

This problem is fixable and the symptoms can be reversed – but only if you tell someone and get help. Like Mac did when he told me.

FAQs

How do you stop death grip syndrome?

When masturbation has caused physical damage, it’s gone way too far. There are a number of psychological reasons for why this happens, and they need to be unearthed in order to stop, which typically requires the help of an experienced therapist to uncover.

Can you masturbate too much?

Yes, it’s possible to masturbate too much and cause physical harm to yourself. Masturbating too aggressively can cause problems as well. It can also become an addiction similar to alcohol or a drug.

Think you might have death grip syndrome? Or that your partner does? Please share with other readers what that looks like and get their feedback.

Looking For More?

• Take A Quiz To See If You Or Your Partner Have A Porn Problem
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