What should I do if I think I Am Falling Out Of Love? Learn what it takes to stop Falling Out Of Love, feel in-love again and have a happy relationship.
4 Min Read
Contents
Part 2 of 2
Being told by your husband that he doesn’t love you anymore is devastating. The crushing pain that comes along with that message can leave you believing that things are hopeless.
Fortunately, for many that may not be truly the case.
Wives tell me “My husband doesn't love me anymore" all the time in couples counseling. Sadly, many husbands confirm this sentiment, claiming not to be in love their wives any longer either.
Often the husbands who feel they no longer love their wives have only agreed to counseling just to check the box before they end things through separation or divorce.
The good news is that for many couples those feelings of being out of love are just a complicated mask for problems that can have a resolution. And seeking counseling gives them the opportunity to learn what that can look like.
It’s not unusual for many husbands (wives too) to feel like they just aren't "in love" with their spouses anymore.
Falling out of love really shouldn't be that surprising to anyone.
Change is a part of life, and that includes changes to relationships. Those changes inevitably involve the way spouses feel toward one another and this can mean no longer feeling in love with our partners.
What many don’t realize is that these changes in the love they feel can be a normal process within a long-term relationship and doesn’t have to mean the end.
Often people assume the infatuation and excitement they feel at the beginning of a relationship will be the way it feels forever. That’s simply not the case.
Those feelings eventually mellow and change. Too many people see those changes as a bad sign and mistakenly think that their love must be fading.
In addition, life and all the stress and busyness that comes with it can pull couples apart and make the feeling of love seem nonexistent.
Eventually, frustration and disillusionment can set in, leading to a lack of intimacy. For men in particular, issues with intimacy can be tied directly to feelings of love.
As partners grow and change so do the relationships in which they’re involved. As those changes occur couples are doing one of two things -- either growing together or apart.
Often the natural forces of life are going to cause us to grow apart, unless we do things to counter that process.
So, is there anything you can do to change that?
Yes!
Here the final things you can do to get your husband back in love with you:
I hear from a lot of women who really struggle when they read these suggestions. They feel so unloved and rejected by their husbands that my recommending they love him when he doesn’t love them seems wrong, unfair, and impossible.
I totally understand how they feel. But if you're saying "My husband doesn't love me anymore" then you've got 2 choices -- either accept that he doesn't love you or do something to change it.
I'm not recommending you do these 5 things forever without receiving any love from your husband in return. I'm simply recommending that you be the first to start putting love back into your marriage (if you feel you’re already doing this, then dig a bit deeper and try some new approaches).
Feeling like your husband no longer loves you can make many women shutdown and begin to build walls around their hearts. Hearing “I don’t love you anymore” directly from your husband can accelerate that process and make it harder to stop drifting apart.
And I understand that being told to show love by using the steps above to someone who doesn’t reciprocate seems unfair and can create resentment.
So, if you feel your husband doesn’t love you anymore, keep the following things in mind:
If you’re saying, “My husband doesn’t love me anymore,” you can choose to accept it and move on, or try to save your marriage. But isn’t it likely you’d regret not trying?
Give the suggestions above a try for 90 days and see what happens. What have you got to lose?
Editor's Note: This post was originally published May 4, 2010, updated on June 29, 2014, December 12, 2019, and has been updated again for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
This is the second article of two on 5 things you can do when you feel my husband doesn't love me anymore. You can read the first 2 to do's by checking out Part 1: My Husband Doesn't Love Me - 5 Things You Can Do About It.
What should I do if I think I Am Falling Out Of Love? Learn what it takes to stop Falling Out Of Love, feel in-love again and have a happy relationship.
You have this nagging feeling that your husband is no longer in love with you. Learn what to do next
Many husbands (and wives) are not "in love" with their partners any longer.
© 2026 Guy Stuff Counseling & Coaching, APC, All Rights Reserved.
Privacy Policy | Sitemap | Do Not Sell or Share My Information
Featured logos are trademarks of their respective owners.
So I don't even know where to begin. I'm in pain. I'm willing to accept the parts I played in things. I'm a wife who wants to save her marriage so badly. I'm afraid of losing my husband to someone else...if he just ups and changes his mind and simply doesn't want to be married to me anymore. I'm in recovery and the process isn't easy. I'm learning so many things about myself day by day good and bad. I can't accept losing him in the process of my recovery. We had a fight awhile back. "WE" laid hands on each other. I'm not proud of it whatsoever. I've been begging him to go to therapy after his acting out behaviors 3 months into our marriage with another woman. I guess I still resent him for his actions. I don't want to feel this way.. but I guess I do. I guess I just need to admit that. I know there's a problem. He's said to me once that he thinks he has a problem but he's unwilling to get help. He stonewalls me when I speak of psychiatry and any sort of psychiatric intervention. I know there's a reason for it all. I know its deeply rooted in his childhood. I also know it has much to do with his religious outlook. Distinguishing between science and pseudoscience is problematic. I've gathered he'd rather not deal with either. Every time I mention family counseling, I truly think something in him boils. I truly believe deep down inside my husband may resent me to for actions and utterances in the past. I often feel quite inferior insecure depressed. I sometimes think I'm an embarrassment to him. I feel threatened by other women because he's a photographer whose niche was shooting women erotically. I knew all these things prior to entering this marriage. However, in the beginning when everything's' new... everything's new and I thought I could handle it. In the beginning it was something to admire. The thought of it bothering me in the long run never enter my mind. I honestly don't know what I'm doing. I'm constantly in my own head about stuff. Am I interesting to him anymore. Am I a turn off. Does he yearn for me? Like I yearn for him. Maybe if I wasn't so needy right? Does he NOT respect me? Does he REALLY love me? Or was I just a good catch? I often wonder. I'll be honest, I totally went into this blindly. I'll even go further to say that perhaps it was convenient to do so. But I didn't expect to truly fall in love and hope to continue growing in love with this same person. I fear that it wont last. I guess I'm truly IN LOVE. Because I want to love this person. For the rest of my days I'd love to. For so many years I was unable to love another because I wasn't able to love myself. But in this case, I do have options. I could pray more practice patience and go to therapy WITHOUT him so that I could continue staying on my own course of self-improvement. Or accept letting them go may be the best course of action for me. I don't want a divorce. But I have threatened separation a few times out of frustration. My husband and I have very strong personalities. And we are both survivors of child abuse. I want a healthy relationship with my husband. So since I can't make him do anything...I guess I'll just start with the one he married. Thank you. It was freeing to see that I have some REAL options. I can go to marital counseling without him. Thnx.
Honestly, he treats you that way because he knows he can. He knows that no matter what he does to you you will never leave because of the kids. Through my own battles of late my father reminded me of something I said to him when I was a little girl. He and my mom were always fighting! When I was about 9 years old I told him that he didn't have to stay for us kids. He never forgot that. Kids don't always want two parents together in the same house, they want harmony. You need to take care of you and make yourself happy. That is what will make your children happy in the long run.
Dear Samantha its probably for the best you and your kids deserve better you dont need to put up with anything dear and dont cry time will heal you focus on your career and your beautiful children no man worth it .be patient .successful and find happiness in your kids eyes .and dont give up there is a man out the there who deserve you and who will treat you as a princess peace
I read your story made me cry twelve yrs here cheated on nov.fourth over internet fb found out four days befor our 12th anyway thought we were working threw it then cam across him singing up for on line dating wed sight then I confronted him he left stay in motel ten days I feel he had sex with someone found a condom in his bag when he finally came home then we went back to room fo Yu nd baby toy in couch the girl he cheated with has a kid when I found ge he told me to get the f**k out continues to be mean found text on monday asking hom to reply yess for dating sight he did with yess he lies hes cheating im lost mean and just keeps going love him but whats his deal I cook clean raise our child never say no to sex or getting kinky im devoted to him and our kid idk any more I jyst want hom to want me and only me tge way I do have for to him he has always been had to deal with not a bad guy but when he f**ks up he does it bad
For Julie: no as a matter of fact, he has swung and hurt me on jan 10 and march 13 and then on march 18, 2017 also, he came over to my place and drug me with his truck, causing permanent damage to my knees/legs. The police did not do anything about it, because they said since the house was also in his name, he was allowed to be there. to me ok, but that did not give him the rights to drag me in the car and cause permanent damage