What should I do if I think I Am Falling Out Of Love? Learn what it takes to stop Falling Out Of Love, feel in-love again and have a happy relationship.
4 Min Read
Contents
Part 2 of 2
Being told by your husband that he doesn’t love you anymore is devastating. The crushing pain that comes along with that message can leave you believing that things are hopeless.
Fortunately, for many that may not be truly the case.
Wives tell me “My husband doesn't love me anymore" all the time in couples counseling. Sadly, many husbands confirm this sentiment, claiming not to be in love their wives any longer either.
Often the husbands who feel they no longer love their wives have only agreed to counseling just to check the box before they end things through separation or divorce.
The good news is that for many couples those feelings of being out of love are just a complicated mask for problems that can have a resolution. And seeking counseling gives them the opportunity to learn what that can look like.
It’s not unusual for many husbands (wives too) to feel like they just aren't "in love" with their spouses anymore.
Falling out of love really shouldn't be that surprising to anyone.
Change is a part of life, and that includes changes to relationships. Those changes inevitably involve the way spouses feel toward one another and this can mean no longer feeling in love with our partners.
What many don’t realize is that these changes in the love they feel can be a normal process within a long-term relationship and doesn’t have to mean the end.
Often people assume the infatuation and excitement they feel at the beginning of a relationship will be the way it feels forever. That’s simply not the case.
Those feelings eventually mellow and change. Too many people see those changes as a bad sign and mistakenly think that their love must be fading.
In addition, life and all the stress and busyness that comes with it can pull couples apart and make the feeling of love seem nonexistent.
Eventually, frustration and disillusionment can set in, leading to a lack of intimacy. For men in particular, issues with intimacy can be tied directly to feelings of love.
As partners grow and change so do the relationships in which they’re involved. As those changes occur couples are doing one of two things -- either growing together or apart.
Often the natural forces of life are going to cause us to grow apart, unless we do things to counter that process.
So, is there anything you can do to change that?
Yes!
Here the final things you can do to get your husband back in love with you:
I hear from a lot of women who really struggle when they read these suggestions. They feel so unloved and rejected by their husbands that my recommending they love him when he doesn’t love them seems wrong, unfair, and impossible.
I totally understand how they feel. But if you're saying "My husband doesn't love me anymore" then you've got 2 choices -- either accept that he doesn't love you or do something to change it.
I'm not recommending you do these 5 things forever without receiving any love from your husband in return. I'm simply recommending that you be the first to start putting love back into your marriage (if you feel you’re already doing this, then dig a bit deeper and try some new approaches).
Feeling like your husband no longer loves you can make many women shutdown and begin to build walls around their hearts. Hearing “I don’t love you anymore” directly from your husband can accelerate that process and make it harder to stop drifting apart.
And I understand that being told to show love by using the steps above to someone who doesn’t reciprocate seems unfair and can create resentment.
So, if you feel your husband doesn’t love you anymore, keep the following things in mind:
If you’re saying, “My husband doesn’t love me anymore,” you can choose to accept it and move on, or try to save your marriage. But isn’t it likely you’d regret not trying?
Give the suggestions above a try for 90 days and see what happens. What have you got to lose?
Editor's Note: This post was originally published May 4, 2010, updated on June 29, 2014, December 12, 2019, and has been updated again for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
This is the second article of two on 5 things you can do when you feel my husband doesn't love me anymore. You can read the first 2 to do's by checking out Part 1: My Husband Doesn't Love Me - 5 Things You Can Do About It.
What should I do if I think I Am Falling Out Of Love? Learn what it takes to stop Falling Out Of Love, feel in-love again and have a happy relationship.
You have this nagging feeling that your husband is no longer in love with you. Learn what to do next
Many husbands (and wives) are not "in love" with their partners any longer.
© 2026 Guy Stuff Counseling & Coaching, APC, All Rights Reserved.
Privacy Policy | Sitemap | Do Not Sell or Share My Information
Featured logos are trademarks of their respective owners.
My husband and I have been together for 16 years and just celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary. We went on a trip for our anniversary and the first day was great. Then he started talking about his ex whom he say he could never love again like he loved her. He also goes to say because she hurted him so much he only 75% of his heart to give and he could never completely love me. I was devastated, hurt and neglected at the same time
All these years I tried to get my husband to love me when he never could or wanted to.
My husband disrespected me. He embarrassed me in front of others. He ignores me, won't look at me and won't talk to me. He says he hates me and I do nothing right. My husband is physically and verbally abusive. And still I love him and want to make my marriage works
My husband recently told me he no longer loves me after spending over 20 years with me, 13 of those married. We have two boys with our marriage. I am not able to understand just how someone can fall out of love and am grieving over the fact that he feels the way that he does. He no longer wants to do anything with me, talk to me, see me unless absolutely necessary. I feel that this marriage can be saved but how do I try when my partner doesn't want anything to do with me?
Jennifer, Falling out of love is painful, especially when one partner does not feel the same. Whether your marriage can be saved or not is not something that I can answer, particularly in this forum. We do have a great deal of information on this particular topic, as well as exchanges from others who have experienced the same thing, on our website. Check out https://guystuffcounseling.com/love-is-gone. There may be several things here that can help give you a new perspective. -Dr. Kurt
Marie, you are so right on about certain men and Narcissism. Its an epidemic out there and not a lot of knowledge is being passed around about the danger, and I mean DANGER of men (and women) out there with Cluster B character disorders. They will rip your heart out and destroy your life if you let them. WAKE up people, learn discretion and protect yourself, your children, your life! I was surrounded by Cluster B people and went NO contact with most of them....I have just come to the eye opening realization that my husband is a narcissist too. There are sites that are helpful to educate yourself on these character disorders as they are rampant in society now. They are emotional vampires and will destroy you if you let them. Don't let them! And, no they don't respond to counseling as it is an ingrained "character" flaw, not a passing thing. Pray everyone, pray and educate and protect yourself and your children.
Hello. I feel very sad and very in love with my boyfriend. We are not married but that doesn't mean that I'm not totally committed to him. We moved together, bought an apartment together. He is caring, but he is also very perfectionist and points out every time that I do something "wrong" like not cleaning something correctly for example, not understanding clearly what he is saying (he is German and I am Mexican). But we have a lot in common, we do have a great time together and I love the way he thinks and everything we talk about, he motivates me and helps me a lot. So the main problem is, apart from me being very physical and he not that much, that he has never told me that he loves me. He actually thinks he doesn't love me, but what he feels is a great appreciation for me, but of course much more than a friendship. I am not content with this, this makes me very sad, and hopeless. He also told me that after two years maybe this feeling is not gonna come, apart from the fact that he doesn't think I am beautiful, he says that I am also nut ugly, but I look normal (what the hell?!). But still he appreciates a lot of things from me and I just feel very stupid writing this, because I am so deep already in this relationship, and I love this being so much that my heart is just broke and I feel very weak. I cannot tell anyone everything because I know they will tell me right away I should leave, but I have never been so in love and I don't wanna live the hell that I lived two years ago as I separated from my last relationship and was moving house 4 times in a year. Maybe thats not the worse, but I really have the feeling that I haven't connected with anyone in my life like this and I don't want to lose this. You say, don't be desperate, do things for yourself, and give him space, it actually works, he is a little bit more caring, but his feeling haven't change at all.