There’s no question that discussing cheating is an emotionally charged conversation, here's what to expect.
It's one of the things we men hope never happens to us -- our wife caught cheating. Yet it's becoming more and more common to hear husbands say they've caught their wife cheating.
Here's the story of one of those men, Fernando, who caught his wife cheating. He wants to know how to deal with a wife caught cheating. Maybe you do too (or maybe your husband cheated). Keep reading and I'll tell you.
I feel betrayed since I caught my wife flirting through repeated glances with a security personnel standing on the casino hotel passage. She thought I was asleep in the hotel room. Another time not knowing that I walked around her back while she was playing a slot machine not concentrating on the play but attracting another guy. I saw all those acts of slutty behavior as a form of deceit. As if nothing happened, she even asked if I was there long. It is so painful and caused a very deep wound in my feelings for her. I wish I had not seen those situations. She keeps the same pattern of behavior with men from her younger days even as a married couple. I am now suffering with shock and negative thoughts and it is taking a toll on my health. I think this would be the end of our relationship and worth a divorce. I totally lost my trust and respect to her if there is anything left. I am really disturbed. How do you deal with wife caught cheating?" -Fernando P.
What's interesting here is that if we take the above story and change Fernando from a husband to a wife, the feelings of "betrayed," "deceit," "shock," "negative thoughts," "divorce," and "disturbed" would all be the same. When a partner is caught cheating, the sex of the cheated on partner makes no difference. Men or women, husbands or wives, boyfriends or girlfriends, we all experience the same feelings.
So how do you deal with a wife caught cheating? The same way you would a husband or boyfriend who cheated. You get some professional marriage counseling help. Cheating is one of the most overwhelming situations you can go through and navigating it alone is a big mistake. Okay, so it may sound like I'm just pushing counseling. Yes, I am, but not because I do it. Rather because counseling guidance is what's needed and it works.
I would also say Fernando, that your feelings can change. Your wife can also change. And your lost trust and respect can change. A wife caught cheating doesn't have to automatically mean a divorce. Is it hard to change? Yes - very hard. And it's possible you or she may not be willing to. But I believe every relationship is worth at least trying to change before choosing divorce and all the pain and problems that come with it.
As we can see from Fernando's feelings, being cheated on is very painful and overwhelming. And it's easy to let those feelings drive you to taking actions that aren't the best for you in the long run -- like these guys: Man Destroys Home With Boat After Wife Caught Cheating or Husband Drives SUV Into House After Catching Wife Cheating. So if you've caught your wife cheating, the first thing to do is to get some objective help. The same advice goes if you're a wife caught cheating.
There’s no question that discussing cheating is an emotionally charged conversation, here's what to expect.
Suspecting a partner of cheating can shake your world.
What should you do if your Wife Cheats On You? Check out this expert advice for what to do next.
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Great article
Diane, Thank you for the kind words. -Kurt
Are my wife cheating on me I found out my wife was lying to me for 8mounths about a guy at her work place how they meet early in the morning and go clubing after work they text each other but the conversations are cleared on her phone she sleep out and go party with him now lately she told me she lost her cell phone that I gaved to her and I found out that guy is having the phone hE says she lend it to him becuase he don't have a phone I asked her and she started telling me she did lie all the time about him she told me she don't love me and doesn't feel the same anymore over me we are 10years married now and have 3kids but she told me she don't feel to be in this marriage anymore it hurts me a lot I never knew my wife would do all of this to me she will give up on this marriage to be more with her friends and that other guy then me and our 3kids I don't know if she love that other guy but he is also married is there something between them I just can't stop thinking of all this stuff I cry everyday of my life I'm reali hurt
Caught my wife sexting and pic swapping effects are devastating
My wife and a were seperated for 7 years of a 19 year marr. We got back together a year ago and its never been better. Until i snooped in her phone. You can say its wrong shes my wife and should have no secrets from me.I knew her password"she didnt know i did" and i didn't take long to find something . I couldn't believe what i was seeing. She had got a new phone but same number so all her contacts had bin reset.Now plz I think im over reacting but I want to know what you Think singed " HURT" I find phone # in her messages not contact info so she didnt save the # he text her like 3 months ago and this is this string.He said hi how are you ..whats up? she ignored it....1 month later same thing kinda.. she ignored it..last month. he text again are you ok ? im worried. She answered she was ok but had hurt herself in a fall and broke her wrist. "this is all true i have bin taking great care of her for 2 months helping her dress and do everything". He tex OMG are you ok she says no Im in alot of pain. He tex Do you want me to come keep you company if your board? she says no I'm with my Dad and Daughter"she was with me but she said it wasn't his biz."He tex well maybe when your alone? she said I'm never alone. lol he made a dumb joke well its for the best he would of wrecked you. "OMG ok now I'm piss she obviously slept with this guy" when we got back together we talked about who we had bin with when we were apart I knew of 2 guys she had seen for a year each . we were apart for 7.But this was new."anyway.he said I would of wrecked you....she text back yup on world nothing else.then her next line said she was going to be out of commision for awile! then he text but I do really want to see you sometime. she text sounds like a plan. Now I confronted her after copying the # and asked her WTF? is this. at first she said it was nothing i dissagreed she called him a joker ect i called BS. She said she hooked up with him a year before we got back together and it was over in a week after a overnight stay at a hotel. was she blowing him off or not. she said it wasnt his biz. who she was with and had no desire to contact him. she didnt delete the messeges. I asked what you were gonna do when he texed you next month. I made her text him she was with someone and there contact was not ok anymore. he said hope your happy no hard feelings. But to me she led him on she said no "YES" to me she should of never text him back that was a wrong and she didn't think so. she said I didn't want him to worry and when he was getting sexual she blew him off. Then why say "it sounds like a plan" and" I'm out of commisshion " it sounds to me she would have met him in the future. plz I could use some support Ihave noone to talk to but to about this . I know she was wrong she kinda does too but she insists nothing would of happen, shes with me, she did asked me to come back btw. she sorry it hurt me and it sounded harmless enough if i was him I could of taken her hint it wasnt gonna happen. or Im I wrong?
Sounds to me she was telling him what he wanted to hear but I think you need to sit her down and have a good heart to heart and ask her if she really wants to be with you or not and talk to her about how you feel about the messages you saw communication is the only way of sorting out any relationship problem listen to each other say how you feel and go from there best of luck