Women ask Why Does My Boyfriend Watch Porn Then Want Sex With Me? See what a relationship counselor for men says about men Watching Porn And Wanting Sex,

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Contents
Part 2 of 2
Are there common causes for developing an addiction to porn? Yes, there are 3 that everyone shares.
In the first article on this topic, Inside Look at Pornography Addiction, we discussed what addiction to porn can look like and how many people, men especially, struggle with it. Now let's see what we can learn about the causes for addiction to porn.
So, why does watching porn become an addiction in the first place?
For men, three things drive addiction to porn more than anything else:
The following italicized excerpts are from the article Porn Addiction Destroys Relationships, Lives from the San Francisco Chronicle.
Probably not much of a surprise here for anyone who knows much about us men.
"For 90 percent of men, images are a big source of stimulation," he says, whereas women - an estimated 25 to 30 percent of online porn users - tend to prefer interactive chat rooms.
The way men's brains are wired sets us up for porn addiction to become a huge problem.
It’s the perfect mixture for addiction — watching porn is a visual activity and we’re visually stimulated.
This means that the endless galleries of images and videos that are available on the internet are the perfect black hole for men to fall into.
The repetitive process of viewing these images releases powerful brain chemicals that reward and reinforce this behavior, which can, and often does, create an addiction to porn.
Many of men have a difficult time relaxing.
Why?
And we want a quick and easy solution to these problems.
“Isn't there a pill I can take for this?”
Not a pill, but a little porn will help.
If people want to escape feelings of low self-esteem, shame, isolation or the pressures of life, work or relationships, pornography is a place to get lost and feel wanted, imagining the perfect partners who always desires them - and whom they can always satisfy. "Like with any addiction, it's a predictable way to soothe," says San Francisco psychotherapist Gregory Rowe. "I've talked to soldiers back from Iraq who say the internet centers there are jammed with soldiers masturbating to porn. It's a way to manage their anxiety.
Porn is a quick, easy, and seemingly harmless way to deal with stress and escape.
Although an extremely common habit for many men, porn is far from harmless.
The brain chemicals released while watching soothe us in the moment, but for most people this secretive sexual behavior brings along with it,
There are some unique aspects about porn that make it easily addictive.
Here’s what else makes porn so addictive:
San Francisco marriage and family therapist Julian Redwood, who specializes in treating patients with pornography addiction, says the biggest problem is that there is a physiologically addictive nature to porn and all sexually addictive behavior. People build up a tolerance and need more and more stimulation to achieve the same high. "So someone might start by looking at images of a normal heterosexual couple having sex and then move on to watching bestiality or sex with children. People push their edge."
"Online porn is so much about the hunt," Redwood adds, which is part of why people spend so many hours at it, at the expense of their jobs, family, social life and sleep. They keep searching for the image or video that is going to turn them on. It's similar to the drug addict going out to score the drug, or someone into prostitutes cruising the red-light district. "But there are lots of people who would never go to a prostitute who engage in internet porn."
Many people scoff at the idea that addiction to porn is a real problem. They believe porn isn’t like drugs or alcohol, which have a clear effect on the brain and can create dependence.
The truth is that porn does have the same chemical effect on dopamine levels in the brain as these addictive substances.
Sadly, the vast majority of people don’t recognize porn for the drug that it is and the addictive characteristics it possesses.
Culturally, porn’s typically considered normal and harmless. And the fact that it’s everywhere now just perpetuates this idea too.
One or two clicks on your phone or tablet and you’re watching people doing things you’ve only fantasized about.
How can anything legal and so accessible be that bad?
“Watching porn is just what guys do.”
This is a belief shared by many.
While it is what a lot of men do, most people are uninformed and blind to its negative effects.
Porn addiction is directly responsible for a myriad of personal and relationship problems.
Some of the most profound effects of addiction to porn include:
Sound fun?
No. It sounds like a bucket of problems that are avoidable.
It seems like the primary causes for porn addiction are inescapable for most men.
Does it sound hopeless?
Rest assured guys, it’s not. You just need to develop a plan for protecting yourself.
The biggest question for all men to answer is — what we are going to do about our susceptibility to developing an addiction to porn?
If you don't have a plan to protect yourself from viewing porn, seriously consider meeting with an expert to get one.
Join the conversation and share your thoughts about what in your experience causes addiction to porn. There are more than 150 comments from other readers below — check them out and see what others have to say.
Editor's Note: This post was originally published July 25, 2012, updated on April 10, 2018, May 3, 2022, and has been updated again with new information for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Women ask Why Does My Boyfriend Watch Porn Then Want Sex With Me? See what a relationship counselor for men says about men Watching Porn And Wanting Sex,
Wondering if Porn Is Cheating? Find out what psychology experts say about whether Porn Is Cheating.
Breaking a porn addiction isn’t easy. Learn how to handle relapses here.
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Please get real. We live in the most sexualised period in history. Sex and specifically the female form, is used to sell everything. It is no wonder our young men are developing unrealistic expectations of wanting or needing the perfect woman. Regardless of your opinion it is a VERY real and very dangerous addiction. Take it from me I have first hand experience
Hey I've caught my fiancé of 7 in a half years watching porn and try's to hide it but I grabbed his phone and seen it & tonight again I'm starting to realize it's an addiction for him I don't know if I should just leave or try to make something like this work!!!!
March 27, 2017, was the six year anniversary of finding out that my husband not only had an addition to pornography, he was an alcoholic, and had escalated the two to include massive infidelity which started only months after we were married and I was pregnant with our first child.