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No woman wants to have her behavior blamed on hormones. It makes us feel like we’re incapable of well-reasoned, intelligent decisions, and that’s simply not the case.
The truth is that both women and men are influenced by biology. Women just have more notorious factors related to the reproductive system.
In addition to the hormonal fluctuations associated with menstruation and pregnancy, women also experience them during perimenopause and menopause. These fluctuations can greatly influence the way a woman feels physically and emotionally.
It can seem like women are always in some hormonal “phase” of life. And, honestly, that’s true. The caveat is that it’s true for everyone at all ages. It’s just the way biology works.
Women’s phases, however, are well-known and perhaps more pronounced. For that reason, it behooves both women and men to understand as much as possible about what’s going on.
Perimenopause leads to menopause and can be years long. It can start as early as your 30s and last for 5-10 years.
The most frustrating part of perimenopause for many women is that they have no idea what’s happening. It can start slowly, creeping up on women who may even still be thinking about having children.
For some women, there are mood swings, a heightened anger response, and lowered libido. For other women, there’s very little emotional impact.
Does this mean women are irrational and unpredictably volatile?
No.
While these changes can be frustrating, they can also be managed once identified. The important thing for women and men is being aware.
Menopause is defined as beginning once a woman has experienced a full 12 consecutive months without a period.
The good news for many women is that a lot of those frustrating hormonal fluctuations settle down once you’re actually in menopause. Of course, they may not, or they may be replaced with other frustrations, but overall, it can be a more emotionally peaceful time.
So, the hormonal fluctuations that people think of during ‘menopause’ are more acutely pronounced during the perimenopause years. This makes the idea behind the term ‘menopause divorce’ a misnomer.
Regardless, during the perimenopause and menopause years, the rollercoaster of estrogen levels can influence a woman’s mood, stress levels, and overall sense of self.
But if you’re a man thinking,
Yeah. That’s right – she’s crazy and not thinking straight,”
you might want to dial it back.
Dr. Kurt gave this advice,
Be careful guys. Even though we often get the worst of our partner's mood (she gets our too), and it's hard not to snap back, doing so in the moment doesn't help and just makes things worse. So, bite your tongue and walk away until you're both in a place where clear thinking and reasonable responses are possible. This doesn't mean stuff it forever, though."
Men face a similar change during the same time of life as their testosterone levels change, called andropause (aka “male menopause”).
There are far greater biological complexities during these phases than this article will address, but suffice it to say that hormones do influence the emotional state of both women and men.
But does that explain menopause divorce?
To understand more about menopause, divorce, and other life changes during these years, check out this article about divorce caused by menopause.
Both women and men are emotionally influenced by hormones. But being influenced doesn’t mean being controlled.
When it comes to perimenopause and menopause, keep in mind,
That’s a more complicated question than it may seem. Generally, no, women can’t control the hormonal processes within their bodies without aid.
That said, many medical options can affect how hormones are regulated. A woman should consult with her physician for more information on these options.
Yes and no. A woman can control her emotions as much as any man can. Perhaps a better way to say it is that women are perfectly capable of controlling how their emotions and actions are expressed.
Menopause is the cessation of menstruation. So, since men don’t menstruate, no, they don’t go through menopause.
However, men do experience andropause, which is often referred to as male menopause. Andropause is when testosterone levels in a man begin to decline and generally occurs during midlife. Falling testosterone levels can influence men’s emotions in a similar way that midlife hormonal changes influence women.
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