What should I do if I think I Am Falling Out Of Love? Learn what it takes to stop Falling Out Of Love, feel in-love again and have a happy relationship.
Falling in love and having a life full of companionship and support sounds ideal. We all hope that the relationship we have will provide that. Yet there are many people who claim to be both in love but still feeling alone at the same time. Is that really possible? Yes, and, unfortunately, it’s pretty common.
Despite the ideal way their relationship may start off there are many couples who, over the course of time, begin to drift apart. That doesn’t have to mean they fall out of love with each other, but it may very well mean they end up feeling lonely and disconnected from one another. Being in love but feeling alone is one of the most frustrating feelings you can have in a relationship. It can leave partners feeling angry, resentful, even trapped, and make the relationship at risk for much bigger problems.
“I feel alone in my marriage,” Renee said, as her husband sat motionless next to her. He made no effort to connect or comfort her as she shared the isolation and hurt she felt. “I’ve read that many women feel alone in their relationships.” I told her that’s true. Fortunately for Renee, her husband, Greg, was sitting next to her in marriage counseling with me because he wants to learn how to change that, but he just doesn’t know how - yet.
Renee says she loves Greg and will never leave him, but she also says she hates feeling alone while in love too. It’s a tough contradiction . . .
What else is Renee to think as Greg sits emotionless next to her as she cries and describes how she feels?
Read this short post I wrote on my social media page that talks about just this — being in love but feeling alone.
Renee is right. A lot of people are in love but feel alone. Although this is more commonly a complaint I hear made by women, men do say they feel this way too. One of the biggest obstacles to changing this feeling is the fear of being alone. Too many people want their relationship to change, but are afraid that the change will mean leaving the relationship and truly being alone, and so out fear of this happening they accept feeling alone inside their relationship.
In the above post I wrote,
"It's better to let someone you love go, and be alone, than to love someone who makes you feel lonely."
Regardless of what you think about this statement, there are 3 facts about being in love and feeling alone that everyone needs to accept:
One of the biggest relationship mistakes people make, both men and women, is believing they know how to love. This is simply not true for many of us (myself included). Even though the feeling of love comes naturally, the actions of how to do it do not. This only becomes more complicated and difficult as we try to love someone different than us. And this is one of the reasons why we can feel alone and in love at the same time.
I counsel a lot of unhappy couples like Renee and Greg, and many times just one of the partners is willing to ask for help and change. Sadly, not all men are like Greg and want to learn how to love their partners better. So a lot of married women are left wondering does my husband really love me? And most sad of all is that there so many unhappy partners, like Renee, who accept feeling alone in their relationship because they fear being alone outside of it.
There are things we all can do to influence our partner to love us more and better, but ultimately we cannot control whether or not they love us. However, we can control whether or not we accept being in a relationship where we're in love but feeling alone. And that choice is the most important one of all, because we all deserve to feel loved, not alone.
If you found this post helpful you can get notified each time there's a new post by signing-up at the bottom of this page, or follow me on Facebook or Twitter where I post relationship and self-improvement tips just like this several times each week.
Editor's Note: This post was originally published February 7, 2015. It has been updated again for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
What should I do if I think I Am Falling Out Of Love? Learn what it takes to stop Falling Out Of Love, feel in-love again and have a happy relationship.
You have this nagging feeling that your husband is no longer in love with you. Learn what to do next
Many husbands (and wives) are not "in love" with their partners any longer.
© 2026 Guy Stuff Counseling & Coaching, APC, All Rights Reserved.
Privacy Policy | Sitemap | Do Not Sell or Share My Information
Featured logos are trademarks of their respective owners.
I'm 22. I got pregnant my junior year of college (Sept 2014). My boyfriend (24) and I began going through steps to abort our child but I changed my mind. I knew he hadn't liked my choice and confessed I wanted to break-up w/him because I had doubts[ based of relationships/ marriages I've seen] that he'd be an inactive father. He proved me wrong. He told me to move in w/him into his 1st apartment as he finished school at the college we met at (in May 2016 BTW). His mother harassed me and extremely dislikes me till this day. At first,I thought he was right, it's best not to add fuel to the fire but his mother beagn disrespecting me even though I'd never spoken my mind until recently towards he when she said I was ungreatful for all the things he'd done for me, completely disregarding his emotionally,verbal and( a few times)physical abuse. Anyway, I went through PPD and he wasn't consoling as I grew to notice once I moved in w/him. We had been dating since Nov 2013 so all of this was happening pretty fast. Once he graduated his disdain towards me increased. I had been a SAHM who'd nursed far too long in his eyes and began depreciating my care for our household,our babygirl and all the miscellaneous things I'd take care of:doctor's appointments,buying all the groceries, household products etc and anything else. We'd decided after our daughter turned 1 that I'd go back to work or college but he claimed our finances wouldn't allow it but also how he doesn't mind providing for our daughter and myself. I didn't care. I seen how often he'd gone back on his word. So,I began to work from home and have been doing that since Oct 2015 till now Jan 2017. I've saved up enough to pay off most of my loans,help him pay for childcare as I care for other children,go on job interviews etc Nothing's ever enough. He suggested we take a break in July 2016 w/intentions on cheating not rejuvenating,working on our relationship as I thought. I cheated back and was going to move out but that's the only time I'd ever seen him so passionate about our relationship. He promised to change but failed miserably. Now,I'm suggesting counseling again and he says he'll go but he's already made his mind up that he cannot carry on within our relationship. He can't show me he loves me in the ways I'd like him to. I can't give him the space he so needs because I feel I cannot trust him. He claims he's fallen out of love w/me but has trust issues himself! He says because of his childhood and upbringing he doesn't know how to love. He says the way I show him I love him seems obsesive. We need help.
Fe, You were right to suggest counseling, so remember that you can go on your own. It doesn't need both of you to be there to work. In my experience, once one partner comes in, the other wants to as well. - Dr. Kurt
Hi iam writing to try to figure things out. Iam in a three year relationship and engaged. We had a little girl in July 2017. And she was planned but since the day she got pregnant she has been distant and still to this day I work she is a stay at home mom and when iam home I stay home and try to spend time with her and the family I take her out and I get no response I feel alone like its a one way street I try to talk to her about how I feel and she changes the subject or says oh this again iam lost lonely and on the verge of giving up. Plz need help
Brian, Read the articles under the topic Sexual Problems as there are some recent ones about the affects of having a baby. Talk to a professional counselor before you give up since you have a child together and have to have a relationship whether you're together or not. Hang in there and try to be patient with her too. -Dr. Kurt
I've been with my boyfriend of 3.5 years and have been feeling like this for almost the whole time (I've known him and "loved" him since I was 16, Im now 25). It got better for a little while once he moved to the same state to be with me (lives 3 mins away) and when we see each other(once or twice a week) for the most part everything seems to be better. When we're apart, he's distant.. doesnt talk to me, will stop responding to me if we do talk, and will not see me for weeks, again, he lives 3 mins away. (Also, I dont bombard with calls or texts, Im not like that). His excuse is that he works long hours, but he doesnt make time like I do for him. I find myself waiting, not seeing friends, or going out, because I wait for him to text me or ask to hang out.. it usually never does. It makes me feel so worthless and insignificant. I feel so alone and I don't know what to do. I have a very high sex drive and can be impulsive. Ive never cheated before and im so highly against it. But being kept at a distance hurts and takes a toll. I Did something terrible. My ex(who is also in a relationship) started texting me about having sex dreams with me and being very nice. I was alone and my bf wouldnt see me so i started replying, trying to keep the conversation platonic. Over the course of a couple weeks, it was harder to do and we hung out just to go for a walk and talk. I had a gut feeling, but I didnt plan for it.. but we did end up kissing and i gave him oral.. immediately after we both felt terrible and agreed to stop talking and never do it again. It didnt feel right and it did confirm that i didnt want him, i I just want my boyfriend. I am still so disgusted with myself and just want to be wanted by him.. Idk what else I can do. I give him so much. I buy things for him when I see something he might need or like. I make him dinner when hes tired.. I give him what he asks for in bed(i want what he wants).. im not perfect, but i try. He just is so indifferent with me. I dont want to say hr drove me to do it, because im responsible for what i did.. but if he just showed some emotion, or took me serious or supported me when ive told him how i feel.. i most definitely wouldnt have done it. Ive seen him since that time last week (the day after, unexpectedly). We had amazing sex and spent a great day together.. i didnt feel alone.. but when i leave, its back to the same treatment and distancing. I dont know where to go from here.. hes not a talker, and by the way he responds to my concerns idt hed be open to counseling. I feel so hopeless
I am an older woman of 53 engaged to a younger man of 38 that watches porn from the begining of his day to the time he goes to bed , everyday. At first I thought it to be okay but then I noticed him gettng on other sites were u can watch live sex or sex buddies or talk live with whoever u choose by clicking on their picture. Well I tried telling him it not something he should do cause it makes me feel older, unattractive, hurt and disrespected. He doesn't seem care and doesnt stop. He looks at alot of teen porn. So when we do it his eyes are closed. It's beginning to take longer before he is satisfied. We hardly talk to each other just small talk he doesn't want to be around me and spend time together unless it's working on a project for one of his bosses. He got off of work today and has all the free time to spend with me and it's raining. I would love to cuddle and watch a movie but he is at his camper and I'm at my apt. He does things on purpose that bugs me like he will burn plastic in his camper when I told him I have a headache. He will drive on the side line of the street nowing it's wrong and I dont like it because kids walk along the lined part of the road. He will drive in 5th gear going 25miles per hour jerking the car all the way just to irritate me. It's like he wants me to get upset and go away to my apt so he can watch porn or interact with the ladies on those sites. I feel inadequate lonely and always wondering if he is cheating but meeting up with one of these girls ladies whatever u want to call them. I just want to end this relationship. He has no respect for me or shows any interest in me so I have no choice but to end it but when I go see him to do it something stops me and I don't want to be stopped I want to get this ridiculas relationship over and done with. We have been together 3 years. He does nothing for my birthday he doesn't do anything for me on our anniversary or Christmas nothing. I consider myself low maintenance. I keep myself looking good everyday but he don't notice. He isn't the best looking man short stocky build but he does no how to make me feel good sexually but that's even becoming nonexistant since he took up porn on his phone. He always watched videos but now his phone is in his hand at all times and he is starting to talk to me with an attitude. I feel if I was to end this relationship he would just say okay and I'm not okay with going through that used. Unappreciated feelings. What can I do?